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Archive for September 4, 2022


Ouijageist is the definition of direct to video Dollar tree horror. But I gotta say, the opening credits actually looked really good. A man running away from an unknown threat, finding a dead body in a barn… just across from a wooden box labeled “witchboard“ whispers come from the box. And the man hesitantly picks it up. In the distance, I figure stocks in through the woods.

The story takes place somewhere in England, with a news report about the man from the woods.- And young woman named India with a new baby moving into a new home (you may notice her landlord just happens to be character Karen Harper, played by Lesley Scoble in Amityville Playhouse a couple of years prior in 2015, placing both movies in the same universe). By the way, the witchboard has found its way into her backyard. She picks up the box and her mother looks at it and literally says “I wonder what’s inside?”, A Ouija board. It’s literally written on the top!

Well, India is settling in… Looking for a job, lunching with friends, and of course, playing with a Ouija board!

The haunting starts subtle at first… A nervous dog… A baby gate knocking someone down the stairs… Children’s alphabet blocks form in the words “you are mine“ spirit then lures the baby into a bathroom where scalding water is pouring into the tub… did that really just happen? We cut to a graveyard… Surely they didn’t…

No they didn’t. It was the girl who tripped earlier… She knocked her head into a coma and finally gave up the ghost – if you’ll pardon the expression. It’s her funeral, but Linda is now naturally a little nervous about her baby, and doesn’t wanna leave her with the sitter too long. To make matters worse, the dogs run away.

Meanwhile, the Ouija board whispers.

There’s a knock on the door, and Linda goes to answer it… And somebody throws the severed head of her dog at her. Let me tell you something, this film is going hard. Now the kids or animals are safe! Linda breaks down in tears crying “why are these things happening?“ Well, it’s because you messed around with a Ouija board you stupid bimbo, and even worse, you did it in an apartment that’s haunted!

Linda takes the boys to a antique dealer to try and sell it… He gives an interesting history, do you have the wood back to certain forests in Germany and having some age to it. 

The exchange is interrupted by Linda‘s loser ex, the father of her baby. He’s trying to make a good, get a job and shop with some money. But that sure is a curious looking scar on his hand… Almost like a pentagram,? He freaks out, with ruins edging into his face, spitting hot coffee and pestilence at Linda… Then shows up dead in the river.

Next up, I was wrapped through the legs of a ladder on wet concrete. Great way for the house goes to crack somebody’s head open. Oh and when a priest walks in? I can’t imagine anything that would anger accursed house more. It’s enough for it to actually generate a creature coming up through the pipes to attack the priest. Shaking silverware, and flashing visions over a rumble of demonic anger. They’ll be no blessing of this house!

Like many horror movies, this one really does start ramping up the action and the FX for the third act as it turns into more of a zombie movie… and It’s actually surprisingly good. It doesn’t hurt that the entire movie is 84 minutes… And it doesn’t need to be any longer. What it needs is more money and some better access to special effects. But they try… Man You can see they put their heart and soul into this and did an amazing job with the resources they had. The effects may be average, but they’re well thought out and quite proficiently employed. I like it. I really do… In fact, this is one of those movies I really wish I could see remade with a bigger budget and better resources for the ghostly effects. The fact that they made this as good as they did, tells you you have some fairly good filmmakers here. 

It’s still a recommend, but go into it with your “what it might’ve been“ goggles on.