Black Eagle
It’s always weird to see VanDamme as the bad guy. Even in the Expendables, it just didn’t feal quite right that he was the villian.
I encountered the trailer for this film in front of another movie I was watching and was intrigued enough to seek it out (after all, isn’t that what trailers are for?).
Here’s what IMDB has to say about it:
One of the US Air Force’s most modern tactical aircraft, an F-100 with a new laser guidance system, crashes into the sea near Malta – a region where the Soviet forces are highly present, too. The CIA immediately sends out their best secret agent, Ken Tami, to salvage the system before it falls into enemy hands. To ensure his loyalty, they bring his two young sons to a nearby hotel on the island. Ken Tami’s tough opponent is KGB agent Andrei.
Okay, seriously, even this is too much description for this film. There’s really no plot here, just oone fight scene after another, painted against a backdrop that must have seemed timly at the moment, but now dates the film and locks it in a specific period.
It’s not a bad film, just a brainless one. If you’re in the mood for high kicks and have to complete you Van Damme collection, check it out.
Spies, Lies, and Naked Thighs
I’ve always been a huge Night Court fan. IT was enough of an influence that I followed Harry Anderson over to Dave’s World, and sought out his early appearances, particuarly on Cheers.
I discovered this movie on the rack at a Dollar store and had never heard of it. But still, Harry Anderson and Ed Begly jr, directed by the guy who did the Mupper Movie, I’m in.
a short synopsis from IMBD;
In this spoof of spy films, Alan, a U.N. translator, and his kindergarten teacher wife, Beverly, get roped into helping foil a presidential assassination plot by an unlikely G-man-who just so happens to look like Alan’s old college buddy, Freddie. But before “Freddie” can finger the real hired-gun-a cold-hearted killer with a penchant for using kitchen tools to do the deed-he, Alan, and Beverly must first rule out some strange and unusual suspects!
How did this go wrong?
I think the fundamental disappointment here is that Harry is out of his element. Anderson is funniest with his particular type of schtick. It dosen’t have to involve magic, but he does had a specific brand of humor and this isn’t it, it feels like they tried too hard to shoehorn him into a role he wasn’t right for.
To be fair, Begly gives an uninspired preformance as well so Anderson has nothing to really play off of, but the entire thing just feels flat and drags on too long.
With only a couple of cute set pieces, this one is actually a pass. You can find the best bits on Youtube, but even that may be too much trouble…
Outland
There’s this fascinating period in Connery’s career where he was doing all sorts of interesting off beat movies to break away from his James Bond persona.
Imdb’s plot synopsis : In the distant future, a police marshal stationed at a remote mining colony on the Jupiter moon of Io uncovers a drug-smuggling conspiracy, and gets no help from the populace when he later finds himself marked for murder.
This one was another video rental store staple, but really I’d love to see this on the big screen. The effects are surprisingly good, riding the coattails of the Star Wars boom while still keeping some depth. It’s hard to create real intrigue in Sci-Fi, the technology frequently takes center stage and robs the plot of time and development, but not here. this is much more a story about people, and it feels like one of those films that could only have been made in the 80’s
I love this, and if you can get your hands on it, this movie is definitely a buy.
Safehouse
One of the things that really appeals to me about this movie is the rental store visibility. This was one of those movies that was on the shelf at every video rental store in the 90’s, in an attempt to capitalize on the popularity of Patrick Stewart, which was at it’s peak.
From IMDB: A psychological thriller; Mace Sowell, an ex-intelligence operative and whose past government activities catches up with him, faces his own mortality, in the shape of the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. Holding the electronic key to secret information which implicates a Presidential front-runner, Mace struggles for his life while battling the debilitating effects of the disease.
Despite over the top preformances, it manages to draw you in frequently and there’s mroe than a few times you wonders if He’s just a paranoid or if someone is truly trying to get him.
It’s greatest downfall is the twist a the end which feels tacked on, and it’s lack of rewatchability (ironically, this played repeatedly on Showtime….). There’s a reason this was a rental title.
If you haven’t seen it, give it a try. If you have, check out this compilation which is about all you need to remember it!
Rat Race
Ever play seven degrees of Kevin Bacon? Or just plain seven degrees of seperation? The idea is everyone in Hollywood is seperated by seven people or less.
This movie is your secret weapon for that game.
Seriously, look at the cast list here; Seth Green, Whoopie Goldberg, Breckin Meyer, Cuba Gooding Jr, Jon Lovitz, Kathy Najimy, John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, Wayne Knight…yeah I know a lot of these are second string, but that’s what makes this film so brilliant. Everyone gets something to do, everyone gets a chance to shine, it’s a true ensemble piece, and if you’ve never appreciated one of these actors before, this film will shed new light on thier talent.
From Imdb; Donald P. Sinclair has placed six separate gold coins in different slot machines in his casino. The lucky six who find these coins discover an opportunity of a lifetime: The chance to own $2 million. With the money locked up in a locker in New Mexico, these six contestants must now race each other, to be the first to the cash. There are no rules in place and everything that could possibly happen, does. Behind the scenes, Sinclair’s associates are placing their bets.
A good description, and a perfect setting to play to each comedians strengths while crafting a cohesive story. I laugh through this entire movie every time.
For some reaon, it failed to find an audience so you can still pick this up cheap, and I highly recommend that you do.
Tapeheads
Tape heads really should be good. But it’s easy to see how this is a forgotten film. Still, This is John Cusack and Tim Robbins! How on earth is this bad? It’s awfuly dated though, about two kids trying to break into the music video business with what appears to be an old Sony camcorder. Here’s what IMDB has to say about it :
After being fired from their jobs as security guards, Josh and Ivan form Video Aces, a video production company. Using Josh’s talent and Ivan’s business savvy, they attempt to hit it big in the business while doing projects they want to do. Among those whose paths cross with theirs are Norman Mart, an extremely right-wing presidential candidate; Samantha Gregory, a scheming music reporter; and Mo Fuzz, a producer willing to give them a chance or three if they’ll work on spec.
The film gradually gets better and better as things go on but really it’s all in all painfully slow. Cusak’s character doesn’t really give us more to root for really and that’s a pity because he’s the one we should be on board with. Tim Robbins is so painfully bland in this role you wonder “how are you still getting jobs in Hollywood?”
This is a fun film for curiosity’s sake to see these actors in early obscure roles, but that’s it. This one is a pass.
Superargo
I thought I knew what I was in for one Superargo came up. I mean I’ve seen Santo movies and I’m not that unfamiliar with the Luchadores, but this was something altogether different. Perhaps it’s the Italian sensibility, because Superargo is very much more a superhero then most of the traditional Mexican wrestlers out there, with psychic powers that we see him training and honing throughout the course of the movie.
The action is actually quite passable really, the whole thing feels a lot like a cross between the Luchadore films and the Adam West Batman television show. it’s still campy and silly but it always takes itself seriously never falling into intentional wackiness.
The Costume is surprisingly not bad as well, it’s kind of reminiscent of the robin costume when they changed it into black-and-red,with a spectacular cowl that merges into a kind of black leather mask in a huge gold belt buckle. As silly that sounds it works. It’s hard to get through though, it’s really was exactly the sort of thing that you’d expect to see on Saturday afternoons with your local movie host and I think that’s really where it belongs, at conventions at retro TV festivals things like that. I do recommend it, just know what you get into.
Fastino trilogy
That I tried something different this weekend with the John Fastino films. We start off with zombie nightmare, which he really only assistant director, rock ‘n’ roll nightmare, and black roses, both of which are his very much films. They have a similar theme and feeling and these are all very much heavy-metal movies with demonic zombie-like-but-not-quite zombie creatures (much like Evil Dead)
The first two star Jon Mikl Thor, in fact he was supposed to be in all three but by the time black roses rolled around his wife is getting tired of Thor working for other people and decided it was time to start making their own 
movies.(and they did)
Zombie Nightmare is particularly obscure because of the limited release and very poor production values, on the other hand I’m still trying to wrap around my head around the idea that Adam West and Tia Carree made a zombie movie with the music of motorhead. It’s just bizarre.
The best possible way of watching this film by the way, is the MST3K version. You’ll never make it through the normal one.
It’s a standard revenge film with the monster motif thrown on for set dressing that’s about all. Adam West doesn’t appear until halfway through as a detective with a porn moustache and kind of sleepwalks 
his way through the role, but then again who wouldn’t?
Rock N Roll nightmare is marginally better and we feel the Metal connection far better here. It’s about a metal band heading out to a woodland home with a barn to create a new album. It just so happens that the house is cursed and zombie-like monsters arrive on schedule. There’s an interesting twist here, and I really do like the last 20 minutes of this film. It’s really worth it just for that.
Finally there is Black Roses which has a great deal more recognition 
especially considering it was one of the big VHS seller with a nifty box and also Vinny Pastori’s first role that I know off. It’s a great flick about a daemonic rock ‘n’ roll band that comes for your children, really black roses is every metal cliche that we have heard about in the 80s and they are just as evil as the church suspected rock ‘n’ roll was! Good monster effects, possibly the best of a lot, bathed in interesting lighting with a passable premise it makes for fun watch.
John died earlier in 2014 and I’m saddened by this. he’s not necessarily the kind of guy that everyone would recognize in the word of shlock Cinema, but he really knew stuff and this trilogy is a great little bit of trash to watch together especially if you get have it on in the background of the party. I recommend seeing all these at least once
Love and bullets
Love and bullets starts off with beautiful vistas stunning landscapes and sweet music that makes it feel like a lifetime film. I’m not sure what to think of that, and Switzerland seems an odd setting for Charles Bronson movie, fortunately we switch right towards Charles Bronson going in to look at corpse and I think we’re back on track.
Love and bullets is really the epitome of Charles Bronson film. He’s playing a cop he’s using guns and protecting a gangsters moll from the assassins that the gangsters sent after her to keep her from testifying. Bronson is very much playing Bronson and looks extremely good at 57 years of age here.
When the blonde bombshell is forced to remove her wig and make-up it really is a stunning difference. We sometimes forget just how big a difference that makes in an image, and how manufactured so many of actresses are. Her line when presenting herself to Charles Bronson is priceless “Yeah I should’ve known you’d like this. you’re used to looking at dead people.”
The film is very Bronson and very 70s. It reminds me a lot of the kind of movies they used toplay late at night on channel 43. Perfect thing to watch while you’re doing something else.
Cyborg cop 2
Cyborg cop two, seriously?
Who looked at the movie cyborg cop, and decided maybe that thing really needs a sequel! Now to be fair it wouldn’t surprise me if these films were shot back to back, and the robotic lab set up again using that same bare black stage with some rented tech pieces kind of points towards that.
From IMDB : A fancy, loner cop loses his partner to a crazed terrorist during a hostage rescue. He settles for the terrorist going to Death Row in jail. What Jack doesn’t know is that the terrorist will be taken and turned into a cyborg for the “Anti-Terrorist Group”. When the Cyborg “Spartacus” wakes up accidentally, he kills the scientists and their guests, then goes to set things up for a Cyborg Empire. Only Jack and a few friends know how to stop him. Â
It’s not actually that bad and will be, certainly a step up from CyberCop and that’s a big surprise. The action is actually a bit better. Fights are really well choreographed and the pace doesn’t lag, it passes the watch test without me ever feeling bored, something that I can’t say about the first film. We start off with a great set piece – bad guys versus good guys guns blazing and I watch the cop from the previous film arriving to take them all out with high kick and some leather jacket martial arts. The bad guy from this opening scene will become our villain for the film, but yeah, this one wants to be a little bit more terminator that it does universal soldier. The
costumes haven’t gotten any better, in fact they’re a little worse. We saw the same rubbery cyborg suits but the design…who decided to put a front grill on the abs? and these guys are wearing these army clothes that would make Rambo cringe saying “okay guys is just a little bit too much!”. We see way more of the cyborgs here though, and the fact is they seem to be trying to do more with the concept of adding attachments and cameras and flamethrowers and fun stuff like that.
It’s still great fun film and still very much a time for the early 90s . I found it on YouTube and that’s a great place to watch it. if you see it in the bargain bins at buybacks or record exchange definitely Grab it. As action films go, it’s not a bad one. May be fun to watch back to back with the first…by the way, you know there is one more of these don’t you?
Sudden Death
Sudden-death is yet another van Damme film, but this one comes towards the end of his peak. I almost wonder if the idea was for Van Damme to just come in and see this project, because it wasn’t written for him and it shows.
Sudden Death was actually originally supposed to be diehard three, but then diehard three was made from a lethal weapon script, this one was left as a kind of adrift. If you watch the movie with this in mind, you can actually see a lot of the diehard elements in here and it’s one of the reasons it suits Van Damme so poorly. I remember seeing this in the theater and not knowing about the diehard connection, and wondering why isn’t he doing my martial arts? Van Damme’s an action hero sure, but what he really is, is a kung fu star and that’s what I go to see. The lack of hand-to-hand fighting and the lack of really spectacular splits and high kicks is certainly a drawback on this film and as I said before, it just doesn’t suit him.
Yet another weakness is the villain here, Power’s Boothe really feels like he’s channeling Tommy Lee Jones. I’d much rather seen the actual Tommy Lee Jones in this role – it would’ve been perfect and a step up from Batman Forever….
IMDB’s description is brief : A disgraced former fireman takes on a group of terrorists holding the Vice President and others hostage during the seventh game of the NHL Stanley Cup finals.
It’s not a bad film. It’s got a good idea and some fun set pieces but suffers from just the wrong creative team behind and in front of the camera. It’s still good for a watch if you’re in the mood for fast-paced action film but know what you going into. Even though it was meant to be its not a diehard film it really isn’t, though it’s quite fun to watch it through those eyes. Give it a go on Netflix, I wouldn’t go out of my way to purchase it.
Shredder Orpheus
I really wanted like Shredder Orpheus, man I really wanted to like this. I first encountered this film while watching a compilation of film previews. The trailer and indeed the poster look like it’s going to be an interesting 90s teen film, like hackers or Pump up the volume. That with a near future dystopia, much like
Max Headroom and that’s what I was expecting. Skater town, set in the future, more than anything. I expected the whole story Orpheus thing to be kind of secondary, a mere framework .
What I got was something very different. This is very much a music video kind of film. The skating almost seems tagged on…if I didn’t know better I’d say the script went to a couple revisions and at some point towards the end somebody said “You know what? My kids say this skateboard thing at school is really popular! why don’t we slip skating into this movie?”. It really is just slapped in there. You could pull out all the skateboard shots and we really wouldn’t lose anything. It’s all second unit stuff and compilations and inserts.
The only element that doesn’t seem like an afterthought is the fact that Orpheus uses a 
special skateboard to enter the building at the very end, but even those sequences are very standalone.
Then there’s the random Basketball bits…basketball doesn’t feature too heavily in it but also feels slipped in to make a marketable product.
Let’s see what IMDB has to say :Skateboarder named Orpheus and friends go to Hell to stop television signals that are brainwashing America.
Hmmm. That’s not really helpful at all is it?
The Orpheus story here is not subtle. It’s blunt and flat out told and doesn’t translate well into this context. It’s just so heavy-handed and so clumsily crafted that it makes it unenjoyable. 
The other big flaw here is the production. This looks like it was shot on tape and then edited between two VCRs. It’s just really bad. I don’t mind production quality sometimes – it works really well a lot of horror films, but this is not a horror film, this is sci-fi. This is a prestige piece… sci-fi derivative based on mythology with a conscience and some sort of sci-fi message… and sadly the poor production values really distracts from all of it dragging you down to a sad level.
Like I said earlier, that this is more a music film, more of a rock opera and we get several performances from Orpheus.
I’m a little disappointed he doesn’t play guitar. I tend to think that a good wailing guitar solo would have lent more credibility to the production than what we actually get – some weird harp electric thingy. It’s hard to describe. It’s kind of like he’s holding a picture frame with a white background and it makes special effects distortion and sounds with soundwaves you can visibly see.
I found this to be a real disappointment, and like I said I really really wanted to like this. Done in May 1990it felt too much like a 70s experimental art film, and that’s just not what I wanted.
perhaps I would like this better if I rewatchd it and after a while I think this will be due for that,where I know what I’m getting into…
It’s rough to find but if you run into it at the salvation army or an old video tapes store it may be worth picking up, but beware. This is not a great film it’s really only for the bravest souls who love the trashiest of films.
Sibling Rivalry
This another one of those movies I love to look at- full of stars before they were really big, at the start of their careers before their more iconic roles…
It stars Kirsty Alley, Bill Pullman, Carrie FIsher, Sam Elliot, Scott Backula, and Ed Oneil, not to mention being directed by Carl Reiner. It’s funny I really like Backula and O’Neil in most things, but not in their signature roles (Quantum Leap/Enterprise and Married With Children respectively), and I’ve always really love Kirsty Alley. Let’s see what IMDB has to say here:
Marjorie Turner is suffocating. Her younger sister Jeanine has no ambition, and her 8 year marriage to Harry puts her in constant competition with his family (all doctors), whom he is also competing for the affections of. One day, she snaps while food shopping, and beds a mysterious man, who die during the moment of passion. When she forgets her wallet, a vertical-blinds salesman finds it, and things get complicated from there…
It’s a smart farce, but really I wouldn’t expect anything less from Carl Riener who created so many of my favorite comedies. I got it on VHS for a buck but It is available on DVD and occasionally surfaces on Netflix. Definitely one to check out on rental first and very likely one you’ll want to own.
Baron and the Kid
There’s a pool table in my Library. i like to put this film on when I play or have people over to shoot pool.
From IMDB:
The Baron and the Kid 1984
Johnny Cash stars as a legendary pool hustler, back in town after a long absence. He encounters a young punk who’s got more swagger than skill at pool, and who turns out to be his son
The film plays itself very straight and doesn’t really earn that kind of serious tone, especially for a TV movie. It’s predictable but what saves it is how much fun it is to watch Johnny Cash chew the scenery. Richard Roundtree shows up and I’m in B movie heaven.
It’s not to hard to find the DVD (and it tends to be inexpensive) and definitely a great movie to put on while you do something else.
No trailer for this by the way, but we do have the music video of the song that inspired the film, and it does a great job of conveying the feel of the movie
Hollywood Knights
I think I’m just going to dive straight into the IMDB description on this one.
Hollywood Knights 1980
Led by their comedic and pranking leader, Newbomb Turk, the Hollywood Knights car gang raise hell throughout Beverly Hills on Halloween Night, 1965. Everything from drag racing to Vietnam to high school love.
God I wish this was better. I mean, look at this cast! Fran Dresher, Tony Danza, Robert Whul, Michelle Pffiifer most of these before these people were really famous..or to put it another way, at the time, Tony Danza was the biggest name here.
It’s weird, there are really two separate stories going on here…enough to make me wonder if the “A” storyline and the “B: storyline were even conceived together or if this was a mashup of two different scripts.
It’s just to raunchy humor for me to really get into. To many scatological gags, fart jokes and vulgarity. On the other hand, I know a lot of people dig this kind of movie. My friend Sean loves it and Imagine William would really like it too. If this kind of comedy is your cup of tea, I really highly recommend it, especially to see so many of these people at the start of their careers!
Gladiator
This is a movie that I have very fond memories of. It is not the Gladiator movie you normally think of, but rather a low budget DTV boxing movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Brian Dennehy and I adore it.
My friend Mike got this on VHS back in the day, it was a strange copy – a screened for the video store to watch and decide if they wanted to carry it. every now and then you’ll see a warning about this not being for distribution come up on the screen.
From IMDB :
Gladiator 1992
Tommy Riley has moved with his dad to Chicago from a ‘nice place’. He keeps to himself, goes to school. However, after a street fight he is noticed and quickly falls into the world of illegal underground boxing – where punches can kill.
This really doesn’t do the movie justice.
There’s really a great deal of drama happening here, with Gooding boxing to support his family, and a friendship developing between the two main character – something Dennehy will not allow to happen.
Just as important to this film is the soundtrack. In an era where every film had a meaningless soundtrack of songs “inspired from the film” this had a great 90’s soundtrack album with every song in the movie. I can not emphasize how great this record is…Mike went out and immediately got a copy (which I promptly copied. Man, I wish I had a copy of this on CD or mp3 instead of cassette…)
Mike doesn’t have a VCR anymore so the tape is now in my possession and I suspect I’ll always love it. I’m not sure if this ever got a DVD release, but I know you can watch it on the pay Youtube channel for just two dollars and it’s well worth it!
Tales From Beyond
I totally bought this out of a two dollar box at Cinema Wasteland because I saw Adam West on the cover. IMDB dosen’t tell us much about it though –
Tales From Beyond  2004
When a trendy young couple enter a quaint-looking antiquarian bookstore seeking a present for their friend, they find more than they bargained for. A mysterious shopkeeper takes them into the world of his books, leading them through four amazing stories.
The DVD cover doesn’t tell us much more than that either really. It looks like horror, but it’s really more Sci-Fi. You do know going in that it’s an anthology (which I usually don’t really dig) but it ended up being far better than I expected. The middle sections with West as the shopkeeper presenting the books (the stories of the movie) to his customers are fun. a little underacted, but passable. The stories themselves have a wonderful Twilight Zone quality to them. If it weren’t for some of the language, I’d swear I was watching one of the modern versions.
I think of the selections the time travel story in the diner is my favorite, very similar to Nightmare Cafe (a TV series that lasted about five minuets before it was cancelled, but boy did I love it.)
The shame is that it falls apart at the end. We see two new books write themselves – obviously the customer’s stories. That’s fine. I can get behind that, it’s when we get taken to the back of the shop, past the books into some wierd cryotube where the “stories” I guess are kept…I’m not sure what that was supposed to be or what they were thinking.
It’s still worth a watch and I suspect you can find it relatively cheap in dump bins or movie conventions. Definitely take a look for this stuff. It’s worth a watch or two.
Under the Rainbow
I fist discover “Under the Rainbow” because part of it deals with the creation of the Wizard of Oz with Judy Garland.
From IMDB:
Under the Rainbow 1981 In World War II era Los Angeles, the manager of the Culver Hotel leaves his nephew in charge for a weekend. The nephew changes the name to the Hotel Rainbow and overbooks with royalty, assassins, secret agents, Japanese tourists, and munchkins (from the cast of _Wizard of Oz, The (1939)_ ). Secret Service agent Bruce Thorpe and casting director Annie Clark find romance amidst the intrigue and confusion.
This is an interesting film in that it’s got some infamy amongst those that know about it mostly because Carrie fisher undresses – not down to much, underwear that covers more than most bathing suits actually. Much like Corvette Summer, it’s kind of a “What they did next” movie. Fisher is ably paired up with Chevy Chase and a fairly well thought out script. It’s a farce with a great deal of “misunderstandings” creating the humor. I really should have enjoyed this more, it seems custom made for me. Perhaps I was just disspaointed that it didn’t have a closer relationship to OZ (as I had assumed) or it’s just my indifference to Fisher, but this never really clicked for me. Check it out if it shows up on netflix, otherwise it may not really be worth seeking out.
Race With the Devil
You ever watch a horror movie and find yourself screaming at the screen because the people are so stupid?
Yeah, that’s this movie.
From IMDB :
Race the Devil 1975 Two couples vacationing together in an R.V. from Texas to Colorado are terrorized after they witness a murder during a Satanic ritual.
Now I get that you can’t help but stumble upon a satanic cult preforming a rite from time to time…but it sure does seem like they flaunt it. They keep mentioning it to the wrong people and as we see, this cult reaches far and wide. You get a real sense that they’ve traveled hundreds of miles and are still running into cult members who are all on the lookout for them, not to mention the ones who are pursuing them.
The movie is tense and keeps up the dread. There’s a constant sinking feeling when town after town, cop after cop, they’re all involved with the cult. it’s well acted – this is Peter Fonda after all. It’s also got Loretta Swit in a pre- M.A.S.H. role. It’s really a good film, but suffers from writing these people as dopes – you’ve been chased across the southwest U.S. by crazy cultists and yet you’re still concerned about how dry the martinis you’re going to drink tonight are…. (maybe you ought to stay sober just in case a group of Satanists suddenly surround your camper with torches burning? But hey, that’s just my opinion)
The film ends abruptly, but I think we can guess what happened after the credits role. Definitely a good movie and available on DVD, but might be hard to find outside Amazon.
The Fast and the Furious
Bet you didn’t know that fast and furious was a remake did you?
I mean the original is typical Corman exploitation featuring no one special, but just look at this description from IMDB :
The Fast and the Furious (1955) A man wrongly imprisoned for murder breaks out of jail. He wants to clear his name, but with the police pursuing him, he’s forced to take a beautiful young woman, driving a fast sports car, hostage and slip into a cross-border sports car race to try to make it to Mexico before the police get him
It’s not a ring of thieves driving Hondas, but it is cops chasing the fugitive in sports cars…..
except the cars aren’t really that sporty….and it looks like they were under cranking the camera to make them look like they were going fast…..still it’s a trip. I still see these in the dollar bins and dollar stores. If you spot one, pick it up for the camp value alone.
Little Cigars
This was just the strangest concept I ever heard of. Here – listen to the description off of IMDB.
Little Cigars 1973
A gangster’s former mistress hooks up with a troupe of circus midgets who, as a sideline, rob banks and casinos
They aren’t kidding about the “Hooking Up” part either. Angel is sleeping with the leader o the little person gang…and that’s a little creepy, not because he’s a little person, but because he’s like sixty years old and she’s twenty.
I’m not sure what this is. It’s funny at times, but it’s not a comedy. The premise is just too goofy to be a serious crime drama though, and there’s not enough action for it to be an adventure flick.
Still, it’s entertaining. You get to see Jerry Marin from the Wizard of OZ (in one of the better performances of the movie actually) and  Felix Silla (Cousin IT, Twiki and many other parts) run around as gangsters and tough guys. That’s my poster signed by both of them up there in the corner! Seriously, the movie’s a trip.
I linked to it once before up here but it looks like it’s been taken off Youtube. All I could find was this clip, so you’re going to have to track down a full copy yourself!
Corvette Summer
Corvette Summer from 1978 gave Mark Hamil something to do between Star Wars movies. It also stars Annie Potts and actually has a small role for Danny Bonaduche!
From IMDB : High School Senior Kenny Dantley’s only love in life is cars. For a shop class project, he and his classmates build a Corvette (“Stingray”). The car is a big hit — so big, in fact, that gets stolen! Kenny, having fallen in love with the car, sets out on a summer-long adventure in Las Vegas to find it. Along the way, he meets up with a “hooker-in-training” named “Vanessa”. The two encounter danger and romance as they try to steal back the Stingray.
I don’t have a lot to say about this movie. To say Hamil’s character is stupid is an understatement- there were times I genuinely wondered if he was supposed to be mentally handicapped. Not plastic helmet short bus level, just a slight retardation. He’s completely unlikable and the premise is ludicrous without being funny. The car is ugly by the way and Annie Potts is way to nice to be a hooker.
I miss the days of late-night UHF movies, because that’s a perfect way to see this – and you really should It’s a great bad movie, perfect for background noise or party screenings. It’s something everyone should see, but you’re going to feel ripped off if you have to spend any money on it.
The Devil’s Rain
The Devils Rain from  1975 starring – get this- William Shatner, Ernest Borgnine, and Tom Skerrit. This is a post Star Trek Shatner, but still a pre-TJ Hooker one. Interestingly enough, Skerrit is really well groomed in this. I always assumed that the look he had in Alien was his normal look for the 70’s and that by the time Top Gun came around he’d gotten older and trimmed everything up. Apparently I was wrong.
This is also John Travolta’s first film role, but don’t strain your eyes looking for him, he’s hidden under a black robe most of the time.
From IMDB : A bunch of Satanists in the American rural landscape have terrible powers which enable them to melt their victims. However one of the children of an earlier victim vows to destroy them.
A good enough description. Tom Skerrit comes to town trying to solve the 
mystery of the satanic killings and wondering what happened to Captain Kirk. It’s standard Satanist fare, and if you’re a fan of that kind of movie you’ll like this.  It’s mostly made notable for the cast. Earnest Borgnine’s devil makeup really has to be seen to be believed.
This was a discount title for the longest time, but it’s mostly vanished off the shelves (if it was ever on them). Take your chances on Amazon or eBay.
Mother, Jugs and Speed
We’ve got a new column this year, showcasing weird but fun films that I keep discovering and wonder why I never heard of them before.
We’re kicking this off with “Mother Jugs and Speed” from 1976
Look at this films stars for a moment….Bill Cosby, Raquel Welch, Bruce Davidson from before he was quite as well known (though I spotted him immediately. I’m a big fan not only form X-Men, but also Kingdom Hospital, Lords of Salem and a whole slew of other stuff).
Larry Hagman’s in this too! This is before Dallas, he still had the good guy image from I Dream of Jeannie (although this film would manage to kill that noise real quick)  and Harvey Kitel!
From IMDB : Competition between privately owned LA ambulance companies is played for humour.
Yeah, that really doesn’t begin to describe it.
It’s very much a product of it’s time, with ambulance calls going awry, Raquel fighting to be taken seriously despite her gender, Cosby popping beers while he drives…but good fun, never particularly raunchy even though it may seem like that kind of movie.
Things get serious a couple of times, but never enough for you to mistake this for a drama. Seriously, give this a try, I found it on Amazon for under $10. It’s great vintage Cosby, shaggy Bruce Davidson and really fun to watch just how big a douche Larry Hagman plays!
Argo City Comics 