Time for disc two of this set. *Sigh*, let’s do this.
I was actually looking forward to the Cutting Room. I expected a bit more though. This is one of those micro budget affairs you see at horror cons – the kind of film a bunch of people get together and make just for the love of it. It kicks off with a fun cameo from Lloyd Kauffman, but quickly goes downhill from there. We have a director killing off her cast and crew to make the film infamous. I’ve seen this before (most notably in Amy Lynn Best’s Splatter Movie : The Director’s Cut). After a fairly pornographic solo scene with one of the starlets, the gore begins – and there is plenty of it. These folks revel in the blood and torn flesh, keeping the film fun, despite the dreadful lack of polish.
Next up : The Parasite is probably the most professional looking film in this set. They’ve obviously populated this movie with real actors and quality equipment and staged it in a very authentic looking university set.
We have a professor who is approached by a friend to investigate a psychic/hypnotist. This quickly devolves into a “Basic Instinct” situation when the psychic falls for the professor and uses her mental control to destroy his life. It gets points for a nice twist at the end and for being one of the better produced films in this set, but there’s very little here we haven’t seen before.
Finally there’s Up For Rent. Would you actually believe there’s an anthology film in this set?? (and the only one I could find an image of….) Three stories of murder, loosely tied together by the fact that they are happening in the same apartment at different times. The first is Push, a straightforward “woman scorned” story, as the spurned wife takes an unimaginative and bloody revenge on the cheating husband. The second is Eye to Eye, a simple slasher story with no real plot (sorry, I want to like this, but you have to give me SOMETHING to work with). The final tale, Wannabe Deadly is a satire I hope – the story of an aspiring serial killer.
At the end of the day this is comfort food for me, it makes me feel like I’m in the darkened film rooms of Cinema Wasteland watching trash…but I can’t in all good conscious recommend it. If you see it in a dump bin at a con for a buck or two, and you have a fondness for these kind of movies (the kind some people wouldn’t even dare to call “films”) then you may want to pick it up, but if Best Buy is still foolish enough to have it on thier shelves, pass.
So I finished that Fear the Dead box set and thought “Hey! This was fun, do I have any others? “It turns out I still had this vampire looking themed collection that I got ages ago… I was missing Cinema Wasteland and in the mood for those kind of films, it looked like that kind of set. I’d only gotten through a bit though, and did not remember why. Oh boy, I remember now. The movies on the first disc don’t even merit individual discussion, we’re going to lump these all into one artificial.
The first movie, the bewitching, is porn. It’s soft core with a plot, in the misty Mundae tradition, but honestly, that’s it. It’s just porn, wrapped up in a framing sequence about a witch going to Vegas. To be frank, it doesn’t belong in this collection.
Bizarrely, the second film is the polar opposite.it is a Christian horror film – a vampire film actually, though we don’t really discover the vampires in till the end of the film . It’s not in your face with its message, it’s more about the setting – a Christian college, we see Bible studies at some point the main theme here is that wielding a cross against a vampire only works if you have faith in what that cross represents. That’s a philosophy I particularly like, and have enjoyed since I first read into it in Doctor Who. The main problem here is it feels like bunch of college students (at a Christian college at that) who happen to like horror movies, decided to get together and try make one… But really don’t understand filmmaking. All that this should have been was a fun movie kept within their own group friends, because it’s awful – and does nothing to enhance out of their reputations as actors and filmmakers nor does it really benefit the name of Christ out there…
The final movie on this disc is really the only one that feels like what I was looking for. It’s called catholic ghoulgirls – basically catholic school girls fight off a zombie uprising. It’s another one of those where it’s about getting together your friends and a movie camera. Very little in the way professional actors or anything like that, but at least it is self aware enough to not take itself seriously.
This one is in fact, feature length, rather than the short film that precedes it. It’s amusing as a basic trashy hack and slash, perhaps the best thing I can say about it. The movie actually ends with the message “thanks for watching a crappy movie! “Which should tell you just about everything you need to know about this film. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect to see on the festival circuit, but not anywhere else.
That’s it for disk one of this set, I don’t think I ever got to disc two before… And man I am hoping it’s going to be better than this one was.