Mrs. Claus
Mrs. Claus it opens up with an initiation that ultimately pushes a sorority sister too far, and ends up in a murder.
That is however, just to set up and we Flash Forward years later where her sister Danielle is pledging the same sorority and getting ready for this year‘s Christmas party.
(having just re-watched black Christmas, I gotta say, this is where the budget starts to show… Because it doesn’t look like a sorority house. Rather it just looks like the normal house somebody’s living in. It really is a difference.)
And then, Danielle is a threatening email from someone identifying cells as “Mrs. Claus“.
The slutty one gets it first with a garrote out of Christmas lights. It’s not a huge impact considering we were just introduced to her about two minutes ago after she rolled off a guy. Nevertheless, it’s a nice clever kill and a good start.
Around that same time the mother of one of the dead girls shows up… And it’s some coincidental timing isn’t it? Feels like we got a Friday the 13th situation going on here.
The decorations are all set up for tonight‘s Christmas party and Brinke Stevens is out there as a security person patrolling the streets, but Mrs. Claus is already inside the house. Her victims get a text before she shows up and spills their blood in a bad rubber mask. However, she’s about to have a whole new crop of victims as the front boys are about to arrive, ready to get smashed in the name of Santa!
While one of the frat boy guests complains about the very existence of sororities and how hazing leads to murderous behavior – do we have another killer suspect here? – Bring Stevens shows up to let the party know that our first girl did not ever make it home. It’s a buzz kill and starts to shake the party apart.(although I have to admit, I laughed at the one frat boy’s theory that serial killers like Freddy and Jason don’t go after ugly people… I just watched Friday the 13th part three last night, and I assure you, Jason totally goes after ugly people in that one). Separating them up is a good thing though, because it gives Mrs. Claus a chance to shank the whiny one with a large candy cane.
Down in the basement, a couple of them are getting baked and talking about how the elves in North Pole probably have the best weed. Seriously, this movie has the best small talk.
To be fair though, they’ve got some pretty good kills as well. Somebody’s mixing up some nice looking blood… Dark and thick. They know enough not to linger on the kills, and give us more than enough banter to make us care about these characters. Indeed, the rest of the guests upstairs are sharing the worst Christmas dinner story ever… And it just feels like the sort of party I want to hang out at. Younger sister tells a little bit about how that Christmas was… The year her sister died. It gives an interesting perspective on the effects of horror movie murder has on the rest of the family. There’s no Christmas presents, instead there’s visitation and a funeral.
Of course, this year, there’s text messages and murd
er. The image of Mrs. Claus coming for you in the dark is actually fairly effective, and a shot of earbuds dangling, with blood dripping down from them, it’s all really nice imagery. They work the creep factor and that, in addition to the creative kills on a low budget definitely make this film worth watching!
Two last thoughts, Brinke Stevens is in this a whole lot more than you expect. It’s a supporting role, but more than a cameo just to get a credit on the box cover. And second, we do get a twist at the end… And it’s not the one you expect. This thing is definitely worth spending 86 minutes of yueltide cheer on.
Cinema Wasteland fall 2017
It’s amazing how Wasteland can leave me both completely relaxed and yet completely exhausted. You wouldn’t think that hanging out and watching movies all weekend would be such an endurance test.
Of course when you kick things off with a film like TANTRUM 2: PHANTOM OF THE DEMON, it’s already putting both your taste and gag reflex to the test. I actually dug Lucifer’s Cosmonauts from these guys, but they continue to push boundaries a little beyond what I’m comfortable with. Their films are very much platforms to show off their amazing skills at creating gore and torn flesh and various bodily excretions. The gross out volume is up to Troma levels, but lack the cartoonish edge Lloyd gives off. The unflinching earnest focus on shredded tissue and bodily fluids pushes these films to a cringing squirming experience. There’s no story to speak of, and what little there is, is told in a non linear format intercut with dream sequences, leaving you off balance and not quite ever knowing what you are watching. It’s the sort of film that could only be celebrated at Wasteland.
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a fan of Gunga Jim’s drive in. There were fewer host segments this time around, but I was still looking forward to his presentation of BLOOD
OF NOSTRADAMUS. Outside of the Santo films, I’ve had a hard time figuring out where to start with Mexican horror and this seemed like a fine candidate a vampire movie with some occult overtones. Apparently it was my night to be confused because the choppy story was all over the place. Fun but a little out there.
I love hanging out with friends at Wasteland. I got in early for dinner with Deb, Mark and Brandi, along with her niece who was experiencing CW for the first time. Rhonda (an occasional contributor over here) was drunker than usual this weekend which resulted in me hanging more with her friend Chriss than her! Jen and Chris made it out and finally got to meet our buddy Bruce Wayne. We missed Angelique and Nicole but Halle and I still managed to get into some hijinks with Dirk Manning. I brought Baron Morbid a Jason puppet and he traded me for a copy of Divine Exploitation and a Superman comic with an ending he hated. How can you criticize Jim Starlin anyhow? A 
young woman ran up to Doug and me, requesting a photo – “I was just here to deliver a pizza, but can I get a picture with you?”
I started to nod off during The CANNIBAL CORPSE KILLERS and decided to call it a night, but managed to get back in time the next morning for MICROWAVE MASSACRE. I actually really dig Craig Muckler, and he’s one of those kind of guys I’d never have discovered without Wasteland. He’s a writer, actor, producer…the sort of indie filmmaker who does whatever it takes. He was selling signed photos for $10 (and threw in an extra for me) which is another way of getting my attention. I love the picture with the side by side art for the VHS cover of Microwave Massacre vs the new Blu Ray. He offered the blu ray to the show promoter. Ken replied “This is wasteland. Were lucky to have a DVD player to run it!” With a smile he added “Besides, it was all grainy and pixilated when I first saw it on VHS, why should these guys get it any better?” .
I caught the first half hour of HOBO WITH A TRASH CAN (Chris tells me I need to finish it- it’s apparently really good) before rushing over to hear 
Craig’s panel with Chris Mulkey and Jill Schoelen. I’ve been a fan of Schoelen for her role in my favorite Phantom of the Opera and only recently caught up with Popcorn. Chris Mulkey was the real surprise. Funny, musical and all around a delight to listen to. he sat in on Ghastlee’s show later that night, playing bluesy rockabilly on a borrowed electric guitar.
I later got into a slap fight with a werewolf.
SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA was on the list of screening for later that night and it’s one that’s been on my list of films to see for a while. I’ve just never gotten around to it, but that’s really what Wasteland is for. I never would have thought to par it up with NIGHTMARE SISTERS though. Aside from an overlaping cast and director they don’t have a great deal in common, but they are great time capsules of that VHS era. Both fun horror with a very Charles Band/Full Moon atmosphere, it’s fun to spend some time on screen with Brinke Stevens, Linea Quigley and Michelle Bauer. These are also exactly the kind of films I come away with a far greater appreciation 
for after hearing a panel with the director David DeCoteau talking about them. He’s charming and funny and considering how prolific he is I don’t understand how this guy wasn’t on my radar before now. He was also signing for free. In a world where more and more people are charging $40 or $50 for an autograph (And causing me to walk right on past thier tables), this kind of thing really helps you stand out. It’s how I discovered Adam Green and it’s now what’s got me really exploring David DeCoteau’s filmography. Indeed, the fact that Craig Muckler and Brinke Stevens were both $10 meant I ended up spending my money at more tables and probably dropping a little more than I intended.
I still made it back for a bit on Sunday to catch the short film block and the always excellent intermission reels, but was running out of steam before THE HIDDEN screened. That’s okay, I’ll catch it later. I’m still trying to process TANTRUM…and just might be pondering that right up until wasteland comes back in six long months.
See you there.
Argo City Comics 